Akatsuki Week, Friday
by red champagne
Summary: Friday: The Closet no pairing, slight innuendo rated for safety


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

Friday: The Closet

"Hidan! Clean this up!"

"I can't!" a muffled voice shouted. "I'm doing my rituals!"

"Damn it, Hidan, clean up your godforsaken blood from the carpet! It's beginning to stain!"

"Can't you fucking do it? Just this once!"

"Fine! But only because by the time you get your lazy ass out here, it's going to be crusty and dry!" Sakura stomped her way over to the closet and swung the door open, the doorknob slamming into the wall. Little did she know that the tiny dent in the doorknob would be a very big problem. She walked into the closet (it was pretty big) and pulled on the string dangling from the ceiling. The room grew bright as the lightbulb flickered on. "Where is the Oxyclean…" she murmured to herself. And then the door shut.

* * *

"Hey, there," Zetsu said. He lowered the watering can. "I should get some plant food… you seem to be growing slower…" He got up and walked out of his room towards the only closet in the whole base.

* * *

Sakura spun around and tried to turn the knob frantically. The lock had broken. It wouldn't open. "Shit…"

* * *

Zetsu casually strolled down to the hall to the closet, imagining how big the rare orchid would be after he fed it his specially formulated plant food.

* * *

"Calm down, Sakura. Breathe. You're not going to be stuck in here forever," she told herself. "Somebody's going to find you…" She sat down on a box in a corner, her head lowered into her hands. Her head shot up when she heard the doorknob turn.

* * *

Zetsu walked into the closet and saw Sakura sitting on his plant food. "What are you doing in here…?" he asked, just as the door closed again.

* * *

"No!" She yelled as the door swung closed. She shot up and reached her arms up in an attempt to stop the shutting door. It was too late. They were stuck. Sakura sat down on the box again. She sighed.

"What are you doing here?" Zetsu repeated.

"The door," Sakura said sullenly. "It's broken. We're trapped." The closet was big, but it wasn't _that_ big.

"Sakura? Do you think you could shift a little? You're knee is pushing into my leg." Sakura stood up and shuffled a bit, but tripped on a stray can on sitting on the ground. Zetsu broke her fall, twisting and hitting his head on the door in the process.

She opened her eyes, and, finding his face about two inches in front of hers, blushed. He looked a little dazed. Her breath fluttered against his lips, into his mouth. It was so sweet. He had the strange urge to kiss her…

He cringed as the lightbulb hanging from the ceiling shone brightly. God, it made his head hurt. He let out a small hiss as Sakura gingerly touched the back of his head with her fingertips. Warmth enveloped his senses for a second and then disappeared, taking the pain with it. Sakura pulled her hand back and smiled. "Is that better?"

"Yeah…" his eyes were focused on her full, rosy lips. They looked so soft.

A growling echoed loudly in the otherwise silent closet. "I'm hungry," Zetsu muttered.

Sakura looked a little wary as she got up off of him. An awkward silence pressed down on the room. "I'm not going to eat you," he said incredulously. A small sigh of relief flew out of her mouth. Zetsu appeared insulted. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. He sighed.

"What are we going to do until somebody finds us? Kakuzu went to do business with someone, Leader and Konan are gone on a mission, as are Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, and Kisame, and Hidan's upstairs in his room stabbing himself with a freaking metal spike! At this rate, we're not going to get out until next week!" She was close to panicking, if she wasn't already there.

"Calm down," Zetsu said soothingly. "I'm sure we'll get out soon. Why don't we do something to keep ourselves busy in the meantime?"

She took a deep breath and nodded.

* * *

From outside the closet door, a loud feminine moan could be heard. Hidan, who was walking by, stopped and put his ear to the door. "Oh, my God! You're so _good_ at this."

"I know." Hidan snickered when he heard his reply.

"Fuck!" Sakura cried out. "Not again!" His eyes widened. _Again…?_ He burst through the closet door, the wood making a loud smack against the wall. There, sitting on small stools, a large cardboard box between them, was Zetsu and Sakura playing Go Fish. They looked at him, startled at his sudden entrance.

Zetsu was the first to recover. He nodded in the Jashinist's direction and collected the small cards they were playing with. When he was finished, he walked past Hidan, out the door.

"I – what – I thought… What happened in here?!" Hidan spluttered.

"Huh?" She paused for a second. "Oh, did you know that Zetsu always has the _best hand ever?_ It's really not fair. And he didn't tell me until after we played three rounds! Now I owe him 27 bucks!"

Hidan stared as she prattled on.

"Thank god you're here! I though we were going to be stuck forever! The lock broke, so you can't open it from the inside." She walked out of the closet. "Damn Kakuzu, to cheap to buy a decent lock."

Hidan collapsed on one of the previously occupied pastel colored stools. The door shut, and Hidan's head shot up. "Oh… shit…"

_**

* * *

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Ha ha ha! Dirty Hidan, always thinking bad things. Shame on him. And Friday is finished! Yes! Only two more days to go! Review please!

_**- Red**_


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